Simplicity

If only life was simple.

Simple as sitting by the beach.
In silence, just the sound of the calm waves.
Maybe the sound of children playing, in the distance.
With the view of the sun setting.
That calm and carefree feeling.
Doesn't it give you the chill,
just thinking about it?

Can't this moment and feeling just be constant
throughout life?
Just mellow.
Just a good music.

It can't, though.

Because life is not simple.
It's beautiful, beauty.

That comes in the form
Of the time when your heart broke.
Of the time when you made your parents smiled.
Of the time when you lost and found yourself.

I wish, life was simple.

Simple as this cigarette, I'm smoking.
Listening to Afternoon Acoustic
Writing down my thoughts.
With a hot coffee to be sip, by my side.

or sitting by the beach...  

A Certain Deadline

Looking down,
Cars moving,
People walking.
Every car has a destination, a location, a mission.
Every person has a thought, a goal, a dream.
To a certain deadline.

Life is a company.
For a company to function,
A certain deadline to all workers.
A certain deadline makes life function.
Different for each person, but same goal.
Division of labor.

Once the certain deadline is completed,
Another one comes in.
The paycheck? To live life.
Person without a certain deadline
Isn't really living.
The hobos, the beggers, the bums.
They are the unemployment of life.

A certain deadline.
What's your certain deadline?

Fight, Comrades.

Fight, comrades.

There's a time in life
Where we just got to fight.
This is the time.
This is why we are here.

Fight, comrades.

For our rights.
For our time.
For love.

Fight, comrades.

Let struggle drives us.
Every energy drain from your body.
Tears and sweats seem no different.
Headache and heartbreak are from one source.

Fight.

It's worth fighting for.
A light at the end of the tunnel.
A lesson to be learnt.

Fight.

With a spear in your hand
And hope in your mind.
That's what keep you going.
Tomorrow, that's where we are going.

Fight, comrades.

With a blunt spear,
And with no hope.
At least, we are fighting.
We are living.

Fight, comrades.

We gotten this far together.
Live or die, we are here.
Everything happens for a reason.
Don't give up.
God is not dead.

Fight, comrades.

This is our crossroad.
This is why we are here.

Win or loose,
We live.
We fight.

Mirrors

It's a hideous reflection.

He said:

This is why

He left us.

She said:

This is why

She doesn't love me.

They said:

This is why

I'm a failure.

It's a beautiful gift.

I say:

This is who

I am, today.

I say:

This is what

She is missing.

I say:

This is 

Godsend.

Fuck him, her, and them. 

Fuck them all.

I am who I am. 

God Within Us

Sometimes, I feel God is inside of us.
Like, a part of Him is embedded in us.
Since, we were born.
So, He's with us.
Every, single moment.

When you are
Hopeless.
Giving up.
Powerless.

Just
Concentrate,
Meditate,
Silence.

There's a small voice.
Part of us.

That pushes us
To keep going.
To believe.

Bad or good,
Sinners or saint,
Partyer or prayer.

The voice will be there.

That's Him.

His unconditional love. 

It's beautiful.

Thank you.

Insyaallah.

Smokes

*Breathe out,
Smokes in my eyes,
In a room of people,
Called 'Friends.'
Doing their own things.
Thinking of their own self.
How can you expect they be forever,
when 'ends' is in the word?
I see no future.

*Breathe out,

Smokes in my eyes,

At the balcony, with a favorite 'friend',

She's there, but she's not there.

In the realm of cyberspace,
What's the use of being here, when you're not here,

Be here, or be there.

I see no future.

*Breathe out,

Smokes in my eyes,

Outside, a break from knowledge,

Trying to wake me up,

50 other people, just like me,

Looking around and thinking about the future,

I see no future.

*Breathe out,

Smokes in my eyes,

Four walls surrounds me,

It stinks.

Place of the devil,

Thinking of an angelic future.

I see no future.

*Breathe out,

Smokes in my eyes,

At the balcony again,

Fresh air, beautiful day,

But the shade darken my vision.

Hoping these 10 puffs

Will entertained me, calmed me, revealed me.

Looking down,

Cars passing by, life in motion, time ticking.

Looking straight,

In blank space, hoping to see the future,

I see no future.

In a dark place,

Involuntary movements,

The fresh air comes in,

but few survived to be filtered.

It's getting darker and blacker,

Every time smokes come in the eyes,

It sees no future. 

Room of Emptiness and Voidness

Lost in the company of blind people.

Searching for a way out, while lingering in the dark.

Room of emptiness and voidness.

Is filled with laughters and friends.

How can it feel wrong and right at the same time?

Hands of time run as if the Past is haunting them,
While the Present is rocking out,
The Future stares in worriment and weariness.

Room of emptiness and voidness.
Is filled with silence and colleagues.
Stares left and right,
To the surrounding people, the time,
And the people looking down.
Wondering if this surgeon can pull it off?
With the life or death of this patient
in his hands, in his mind, and in his future.

It's ticking...
The mind should be on the mission,
But it wonders off to a question:
"Is any of this worth it?"

Candles give out light, while it melt to death.
Tree produce oxygen, while it falls one by one.
A bastard is born, without knowing what love is.

Darkness will bring him down,
Deaths will haunt him,
Despair will kill him.

"Is any of this worth it?"

But right now, he's in this room.
Room of emptiness and voidness
Filled with laughter and friends.

I, Then, Realized I Haven't Been...Me

I read a poem.
It was a beautiful poem.

I, then, realized how lost I was
Comparing to mine.

I read my poems and, then, realized
How blonde I am.

I've been writing poems, superficially.
Just the top layers of my life and feelings.

I haven't been communicating
The physical with the abstract.

I, then, realized it's because I haven't been feeling.
I haven't been living.

I haven't been writing,
Or even, trying.

I'm sorry.

Can You Kill A God?

I'm not scared of death.
But I am scared of not seeing my love ones
Again.

Death.
It is fear.
But it's not fear of the
Unknown.
It's the fear of the not saying:
Goodbye.

It means, we'll meet again.
Somehow.
A reason.
One day.
In the afterlife.

In the 21st century,
"Goodbye"
is never used.
It's always 'bye."
Because "Goodbye," is the
End.

God just take.
Private property is nothing.
Screw Plato.
We belong to God.
Everyday, every part.

All of our wishes is that in our dying time,
we'll say:
"Goodbye"
to our love ones.

It's never the ideal situation.
We are just gone.

The stuff we do to kill a god.
Just for the Goodbye.
Yeah, you are not fighting for
Freedom.
Your country.
Your pride.
Just a Goodbye.

Just a Goodbye.
It's sad, actually.
Because we deserve so much more.

That's why every life we meet.
We should touch.
Influence them.
Like that, we are never gone.
We will live forever.
We will never say Goodbye.

Where are we?

Where are we?

When all the long hours are paid-off,
Our sweats turn into tears of joy,
The anxiety becomes a breath of relief,
Dark days end and bright future begins.
All our wishes came true.

What is our deepest wish?
Being in the school we longing for?
The clean face that God originally gave us?
Love and happiness surrounds us?
Achieving the little kid's dream?

We think of the past.
The time when we never gave our best shot.
When we were innocent and wanting to be evil.
We felt bad with the amount given by parents.
Wishing the little kid dreamt a little smaller.

We think of the present.
The greatest gift.
We think of the past and future.
But never the present.
We regret of past's decisions.
We fear the uncertainty of the future.

We turn to a higher power.
We pray.
Night and day.
Giving it our all.
Hoping he will hear and grant our pray.
Giving it our all.
Because we are scared.
Scared to take the risk.
The leap of faith.
He hears. He always hears.

Time and patience, the future has arrived.
We are exactly where we are suppose to be.
"We did it, man!" he says.
We reached the destination.
What ever happens to the journey?
The crying, praying, and hoping.
The lessons. What happened?

Where are we?

Hope for Humanity

We grow up, we become smart and witty.
Mastered the art of science and maths.
Build statues high as the gods.
No more games of boards,
With technology, abandon faith.
We grow up, no heart and no more kitty.

We grow up, strength filled our body.
Natural selection becomes unnatural.
Animals extinct due to our hunger.
Mother Earth lingers.
Killing one another becomes bearable.
We grow up, power to everybody.

We grow up, lost.
Beliefs.
Modify to feed the needs.
Atheist because of no leads.
Reliefs.
We grow up, still lost.

We grow up, lost.
Religion.
Believe in the Divine.
Pray for hope and not blind.
The last legion.
We grow up, found by the host.

My Resolution

"For this year, I won't forget."


"Knock, Knock, Knock."
Joe knocked the sign hard.
He knows this time, it will be
different.

It represent the new hope
for his shop.
It represent the new thrive
for his life.
It represent the new smile
for his worthwhile.

He stepped back,
looked up,
smiling, like potatoes just filled his sack,
and pat the smiling pup.

"This time, it will work.
Stop Dreaming,
Start Living."

He stepped in his shop.

He wasn't a new man.
He was in a new life,
like a dream,
but awake.

24/7, he is smiling,
24/6, he is loved by people,
24/5, he is working hard,
24/4, he is rising,
24/3, he works out, like a healthy apple,
24/2, he sleeps like in a lard,
24/1, he meditates for his mind in peace,
24/0, he is dreaming in one place.

He then quickly, subtly,
looks back
at the sign
from it dropping, falling,
and
crashing. If it did, he is still
dreaming.
But then, he remembered:

"Knock, Knock, Knock."
Joe knocked the sign hard. He knows this time, it will be different.

It is not just a sign,
or a new one,
This time, it is a
new perspective.

2010: My era, My year, My decade

Perfect 10

I can finally see.
The hype of this number from my friends.
It is not just any numbers in the open sea.
This four number defined "Perfect 10"

No, I never had a Sweet Sixteen.
The event where my parents said: "You are an adult."
No, because I wasn't yet, I was still a young, sick teen.
Now, I can see. Next year, I will be making the thunderbolt.

This teeth will break from its metal cage,
With the independence, it will make happiness and love.
Smoothness of the divine creation and not man's rage.
Let me smile to people and they smile back, we will create a dove.

This is mine and I don't want it on my face.
It sneaky popping out, creating yellow and red on mine and their's.
Insecure surrounds me. "What are you looking when you are talkin to me, ace?"
Not me, huh? Let friendships destroy and the pain, silently, I bear.

2010
A new era will come and let the old kingdom perish.
My brothers, your time has ended.
In life, there can be only one king. No,
neither of you. Me.
I will lay the law, people are bees.
With my new form, I will be surround with ho.
No, you are a slut. Too late, you are tired.
I will lay the law, raise the bar, make life ravish.

Beware.
scared.
No where to run.
My destiny has come, innocence and guilty
will be collateral.
Friend will stay friend, join and enjoy.
People called "Fri-end" will feel the sun.
Climbing is tiring, but satisfy.
Waiting is...waiting, but satisfy without grafity.

Destiny has come and I am ready.
Come and suck me.
I let you, take me, and throw me
Because I am lost,
throw me far and hard...
To a perfect 10, to greatness.

I will land.

Time+Expectations= Truth (Change)

He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat.

After so long,
After so many expectations,
You haven't change,
I haven't change,
The world hasn't change.

What say you, my friend?
Disagreement?
Ay, the only difference between the world and space
Is the idea of truth.
I had the idea of truth that you will, eventually, accept me.
Not mock me.
Not patronized me.
Not dehumanized me.
The static of time could have been a lifeline, but we all have needs.
I miss the past and its friends.

You expect too much.
No, I can't.
I don't why.
I can touch the sky, but I won't leave the grass.
Soft, green and it has not long to live.
How can a great leader claimed and fall?
To life, I am not following failure, lies, and hypocrisy.

2020
Big number, little effort.
We, brothers, are still fighting since the beginning of independence.
Are we really independent?
The fight has shown no difference than the one in 69'.
Instead of parangs, we use politics and words.
Words. Words. Words.
Manipulative and it bleeds and murder through the ears of a Sr. Hamlet.

The world still kills, part of human traits.
Now, laws and rights restrain us from killing each other, no politically,
We clinched our teeth and cry our eyes,
We kill the helpless.
The helpless moving object without a conscious,
The voiceless still object without mercy.
Woody noises, cold tears, and falling existence.
We know and see nothing.

Studying the truth by dissecting it.
Numbers, words, humans, animals, and molecules.
The equation of the world:
Time+Expectations=Truth
Time is physical, spiritually, and emotionally.
Valuable and created and infinite.
Expectations are mentally.
We expect and expect and we don't do anything.
Don't expect, just jump and jump.
Truth is between space and Earth.
It is ugly, full of gas that drowns us, sinners.
Time is truth-physical and mentally.
Yes,
We are the truth of time.

Sorry, I Am Alive

Trace back the steps of your life
one by one...

The sport events that made you a hero,
The drama showcases that you starred,
The speech that put your school on the map,
The love relationships that you got caught PDA-ing.

What do you feel?
Happy? Normal? Whatever?
The compliments that you receive must be plethora.

"Wow, great save"
"Wow, great show"
"Wow, great speech"
"Wow, great sex"

Wow, wow, wow! Fuck it!
For once, I want to be you.
At least, survived the early stages.
The rejections are unbearable anymore.

"Sorry, you didn't make the team because you are too short."
"Sorry, you did well in the audition but there were better people."
"Sorry, with sadness, I tell you that you are not one of those 4 participants who was chosen by the panel of judges"
"Sorry, I only see you as a friend."

"Sorry" takes the very core of you feeling,
making you feel useless,
making you vulnerable,
making you try and try and never gets it.

Flying Love

Tights, wearing red underwear infront of them, and cape
guy has never been my favorite superhero.
But he can fly.
I want to fly up high, sky high, up, up and away!

Not for the thrill.
Not to save the world.
Not for myself.

Just for you.
To show my love for you.
To show a picture of my love.
To love the love over again.

A tiny push of the ground
like the tiny spark of my love
I will take you high as the moon
Calmly, cool, cautious night.
I will show you the love that is in my heart, up there.
I will point you down to the city.
The beautiful city lights.

A tiny thought
like the first time I saw you
I will take you around the world.
Windy, winding, wet altitude, we will fly.
To woo you heart, I will take days, months, years
to prove to you that the world is small
compared to my love.

A tiny anger
like when I saw you with him
I will take you high as the sun
Red-hot, raging, rut, we will slowly be burn and rot.
To prove my love to you,
I will let our body burn and set our love free
without limitation.

Tights, wearing red underwear infront of them, and cape
guy has never been an icon for me
but like him,
I am crazy for the girl of my dream.

The Pass-Through

Children, today I am going to tell you something.
It is no secret. No lies. No fun.
Just the truth.
Dear old gramps is going to tell you a story
of a kind of people. A special kind.
No race. No nationality. No religion.
Just personality.
I call them "The Pass-Through."

No invincible. No invisible. No reliable.
They are everywhere.
You may have them in your family,
your group of friends,
or your schoolmate.
You know them but you just "pass-through" them.

They are the kids that just sit alone in the middle of mumbling crowd.
Just to be a part of society.
They are the kids that just hope for a "friend" to talk to them.
Just to share their problems.
They are the kids that just dream about the girl of their dream.
Just to believe in love.
They are the kids that just loose in everything, but never gives up.
Just to think that they can be somebody.

Now.
Do you any "The Pass-Through?"
A family member?
A friend?
Someone from school?
No?

You rigid-rugrats!
You mouthful-morons!
You fucking-freaks!
I AM ONE! well at least, was.

Now, hush up, stop crying and let gramps finish his story.
"The Pass-Through" just like anyone are capable of change.

I decided not to be a "The Pass-Through."
I decided not to be passing through life.
I decided not to be passing through until no one realize i am dead.
I decided not just to be the kid that try-outs and fail.
I decided to be Lazarus of Bethany.

"Live the life. Live the dream. No fear"
"Tomorrow Will Be Another Yesterday, Today Never Existed."
Wake up, grandsons!

The Voice Of The Young Deep Inside Of The Old

NO!

I want to grow up!
I want to be an adult!
I want to be smart!
I want to ride the roller-closter!
I want to drink that forbidden apple juice!
I want to experience true love like in fairy tales!
I want to be surround with different kind of people!

I don't want to grow up like this!
I don't want to have this much responsibility!
I don't want to study with no time to play!
I don't want to live in ups and downs!
I don't want to see my friends' dead face in the alley!
I don't want my love to be rejected and be left alone!
I don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of Lord Henrys!

No!
Basil never existed in the real-world, that's why he died...

Just Awkward Dots of Moments...

Everytime...
Every single time...
I hear that song...
I keep thinking of you...
Of this feeling that I have...
For you...
But I can't...
But I want to...

Chat with you...
Call you...
Talk to you...
Listen to you...
Express to you...

Just to be with you satisfy me...

But I can't...
This is nothing...
He said that...
I want fight it but it is the truth...

What is my situation?
Just awkward dots of moments...

First Kiss Scene

First Kiss...
It is not the the skill that makes it unforgettable
It is the scene that makes it unforgettable

I will take to you, yes, that place.
Snowy ground, snowing, in the middle of the forest,
with only us there, the moonlight spotlights on us,
with nature making this memorable for both of us.

You will be cold and shivering.
It is ok, dear.
It is not the winter.
It is you.
You are scared and excited.
It is ok, my love.
This shows that you are ready
To embark with me
In a whole new journey.

We will be gazing into each others eye.
Trying to search for something.
Answers. Truth. Love.
Girl, you are mesmerizing me with those pierce black eyes.

Then, we will be closing on each others.
Rhythmically, we move.
Without saying a single word.
As if that night, we are one.

I will grab your hand that tells you:
"It is going to be ok. I will always love you."
Your cold, smooth hands is already sensational to my body.
A feeling and action that I would have not done last month.

Your scared but ready nod. The climax.
Both of us smiling to each other.
Tilting our heads in the opposite direction.
Our lips will touch like a meteor crash.
Slowly. Rarely. Epic.
Two different world coming together.
Your soft, sweet, sensational lip.
Holding breathe 'till world ends.
Getting satisfaction from both sides.
Wet, sweet, and adrenaline rush through us.

It will be soft, harsh, and romantic.
Your lip is soft and nice.
The kiss is harsh like we both have been waiting our life for this.
It is magical.
Tonight, anything can happen.

Yes, our first kiss will be unforgettable
Because the first time I saw you, I thought:
"Yeah, she is the one."