Sorry, I Am Alive

Trace back the steps of your life
one by one...

The sport events that made you a hero,
The drama showcases that you starred,
The speech that put your school on the map,
The love relationships that you got caught PDA-ing.

What do you feel?
Happy? Normal? Whatever?
The compliments that you receive must be plethora.

"Wow, great save"
"Wow, great show"
"Wow, great speech"
"Wow, great sex"

Wow, wow, wow! Fuck it!
For once, I want to be you.
At least, survived the early stages.
The rejections are unbearable anymore.

"Sorry, you didn't make the team because you are too short."
"Sorry, you did well in the audition but there were better people."
"Sorry, with sadness, I tell you that you are not one of those 4 participants who was chosen by the panel of judges"
"Sorry, I only see you as a friend."

"Sorry" takes the very core of you feeling,
making you feel useless,
making you vulnerable,
making you try and try and never gets it.

Flying Love

Tights, wearing red underwear infront of them, and cape
guy has never been my favorite superhero.
But he can fly.
I want to fly up high, sky high, up, up and away!

Not for the thrill.
Not to save the world.
Not for myself.

Just for you.
To show my love for you.
To show a picture of my love.
To love the love over again.

A tiny push of the ground
like the tiny spark of my love
I will take you high as the moon
Calmly, cool, cautious night.
I will show you the love that is in my heart, up there.
I will point you down to the city.
The beautiful city lights.

A tiny thought
like the first time I saw you
I will take you around the world.
Windy, winding, wet altitude, we will fly.
To woo you heart, I will take days, months, years
to prove to you that the world is small
compared to my love.

A tiny anger
like when I saw you with him
I will take you high as the sun
Red-hot, raging, rut, we will slowly be burn and rot.
To prove my love to you,
I will let our body burn and set our love free
without limitation.

Tights, wearing red underwear infront of them, and cape
guy has never been an icon for me
but like him,
I am crazy for the girl of my dream.

The Pass-Through

Children, today I am going to tell you something.
It is no secret. No lies. No fun.
Just the truth.
Dear old gramps is going to tell you a story
of a kind of people. A special kind.
No race. No nationality. No religion.
Just personality.
I call them "The Pass-Through."

No invincible. No invisible. No reliable.
They are everywhere.
You may have them in your family,
your group of friends,
or your schoolmate.
You know them but you just "pass-through" them.

They are the kids that just sit alone in the middle of mumbling crowd.
Just to be a part of society.
They are the kids that just hope for a "friend" to talk to them.
Just to share their problems.
They are the kids that just dream about the girl of their dream.
Just to believe in love.
They are the kids that just loose in everything, but never gives up.
Just to think that they can be somebody.

Now.
Do you any "The Pass-Through?"
A family member?
A friend?
Someone from school?
No?

You rigid-rugrats!
You mouthful-morons!
You fucking-freaks!
I AM ONE! well at least, was.

Now, hush up, stop crying and let gramps finish his story.
"The Pass-Through" just like anyone are capable of change.

I decided not to be a "The Pass-Through."
I decided not to be passing through life.
I decided not to be passing through until no one realize i am dead.
I decided not just to be the kid that try-outs and fail.
I decided to be Lazarus of Bethany.

"Live the life. Live the dream. No fear"
"Tomorrow Will Be Another Yesterday, Today Never Existed."
Wake up, grandsons!

The Voice Of The Young Deep Inside Of The Old

NO!

I want to grow up!
I want to be an adult!
I want to be smart!
I want to ride the roller-closter!
I want to drink that forbidden apple juice!
I want to experience true love like in fairy tales!
I want to be surround with different kind of people!

I don't want to grow up like this!
I don't want to have this much responsibility!
I don't want to study with no time to play!
I don't want to live in ups and downs!
I don't want to see my friends' dead face in the alley!
I don't want my love to be rejected and be left alone!
I don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of Lord Henrys!

No!
Basil never existed in the real-world, that's why he died...

Just Awkward Dots of Moments...

Everytime...
Every single time...
I hear that song...
I keep thinking of you...
Of this feeling that I have...
For you...
But I can't...
But I want to...

Chat with you...
Call you...
Talk to you...
Listen to you...
Express to you...

Just to be with you satisfy me...

But I can't...
This is nothing...
He said that...
I want fight it but it is the truth...

What is my situation?
Just awkward dots of moments...

First Kiss Scene

First Kiss...
It is not the the skill that makes it unforgettable
It is the scene that makes it unforgettable

I will take to you, yes, that place.
Snowy ground, snowing, in the middle of the forest,
with only us there, the moonlight spotlights on us,
with nature making this memorable for both of us.

You will be cold and shivering.
It is ok, dear.
It is not the winter.
It is you.
You are scared and excited.
It is ok, my love.
This shows that you are ready
To embark with me
In a whole new journey.

We will be gazing into each others eye.
Trying to search for something.
Answers. Truth. Love.
Girl, you are mesmerizing me with those pierce black eyes.

Then, we will be closing on each others.
Rhythmically, we move.
Without saying a single word.
As if that night, we are one.

I will grab your hand that tells you:
"It is going to be ok. I will always love you."
Your cold, smooth hands is already sensational to my body.
A feeling and action that I would have not done last month.

Your scared but ready nod. The climax.
Both of us smiling to each other.
Tilting our heads in the opposite direction.
Our lips will touch like a meteor crash.
Slowly. Rarely. Epic.
Two different world coming together.
Your soft, sweet, sensational lip.
Holding breathe 'till world ends.
Getting satisfaction from both sides.
Wet, sweet, and adrenaline rush through us.

It will be soft, harsh, and romantic.
Your lip is soft and nice.
The kiss is harsh like we both have been waiting our life for this.
It is magical.
Tonight, anything can happen.

Yes, our first kiss will be unforgettable
Because the first time I saw you, I thought:
"Yeah, she is the one."

The Perfect Poem For You

I am thinking.
Hard. Carefully. Hopefully.
Here I am sitting on my cold pavement floor with my notebook.
Pondering. Restless. Hysterical.
I want to describe you with beautiful words.
Words can't even describe you.
Too cliche.

Cute.
Incomparably cute.
When you smile, I sighed, thinking: "God, you got it right."
Your fluffy, smooth cheeks.
If only they were mine. I would kiss them, softly, creating a static of heaven-made love.
"Cute" still does not satisfy the description of you.
English sucks.

Maganda.
Beautiful in your mother tongue.
You are as beautiful as the word.
Or probably more.
Your beautiful body.
Your beautiful lip.
Your beautiful teeth.
Your beautiful 'you.'
It still does not level with your beauty.
Not even close.

Anggun.
Elegant in my language.
Yup, that is what you are.
As elegant as the waltz moves, is your laugh.
Ringing through my sad ears.
Your laugh contains all the happiness that the world needs.
The happiness that I need.
Please come elegantly to my life.
But no.
Because you are not elegant.
You are more.

You prove that man's language needs to restructure.
You are like an angel sent to help mankind,
to help me.

No, words can not describe you because you are beyond human.
No, I failed.
I haven't written the perfect poem for you.
I don't know what you are and you don't who am I.
I guess we will have to talk.