The Voice Of The Young Deep Inside Of The Old

NO!

I want to grow up!
I want to be an adult!
I want to be smart!
I want to ride the roller-closter!
I want to drink that forbidden apple juice!
I want to experience true love like in fairy tales!
I want to be surround with different kind of people!

I don't want to grow up like this!
I don't want to have this much responsibility!
I don't want to study with no time to play!
I don't want to live in ups and downs!
I don't want to see my friends' dead face in the alley!
I don't want my love to be rejected and be left alone!
I don't want to be surrounded by a bunch of Lord Henrys!

No!
Basil never existed in the real-world, that's why he died...

Just Awkward Dots of Moments...

Everytime...
Every single time...
I hear that song...
I keep thinking of you...
Of this feeling that I have...
For you...
But I can't...
But I want to...

Chat with you...
Call you...
Talk to you...
Listen to you...
Express to you...

Just to be with you satisfy me...

But I can't...
This is nothing...
He said that...
I want fight it but it is the truth...

What is my situation?
Just awkward dots of moments...

First Kiss Scene

First Kiss...
It is not the the skill that makes it unforgettable
It is the scene that makes it unforgettable

I will take to you, yes, that place.
Snowy ground, snowing, in the middle of the forest,
with only us there, the moonlight spotlights on us,
with nature making this memorable for both of us.

You will be cold and shivering.
It is ok, dear.
It is not the winter.
It is you.
You are scared and excited.
It is ok, my love.
This shows that you are ready
To embark with me
In a whole new journey.

We will be gazing into each others eye.
Trying to search for something.
Answers. Truth. Love.
Girl, you are mesmerizing me with those pierce black eyes.

Then, we will be closing on each others.
Rhythmically, we move.
Without saying a single word.
As if that night, we are one.

I will grab your hand that tells you:
"It is going to be ok. I will always love you."
Your cold, smooth hands is already sensational to my body.
A feeling and action that I would have not done last month.

Your scared but ready nod. The climax.
Both of us smiling to each other.
Tilting our heads in the opposite direction.
Our lips will touch like a meteor crash.
Slowly. Rarely. Epic.
Two different world coming together.
Your soft, sweet, sensational lip.
Holding breathe 'till world ends.
Getting satisfaction from both sides.
Wet, sweet, and adrenaline rush through us.

It will be soft, harsh, and romantic.
Your lip is soft and nice.
The kiss is harsh like we both have been waiting our life for this.
It is magical.
Tonight, anything can happen.

Yes, our first kiss will be unforgettable
Because the first time I saw you, I thought:
"Yeah, she is the one."

The Perfect Poem For You

I am thinking.
Hard. Carefully. Hopefully.
Here I am sitting on my cold pavement floor with my notebook.
Pondering. Restless. Hysterical.
I want to describe you with beautiful words.
Words can't even describe you.
Too cliche.

Cute.
Incomparably cute.
When you smile, I sighed, thinking: "God, you got it right."
Your fluffy, smooth cheeks.
If only they were mine. I would kiss them, softly, creating a static of heaven-made love.
"Cute" still does not satisfy the description of you.
English sucks.

Maganda.
Beautiful in your mother tongue.
You are as beautiful as the word.
Or probably more.
Your beautiful body.
Your beautiful lip.
Your beautiful teeth.
Your beautiful 'you.'
It still does not level with your beauty.
Not even close.

Anggun.
Elegant in my language.
Yup, that is what you are.
As elegant as the waltz moves, is your laugh.
Ringing through my sad ears.
Your laugh contains all the happiness that the world needs.
The happiness that I need.
Please come elegantly to my life.
But no.
Because you are not elegant.
You are more.

You prove that man's language needs to restructure.
You are like an angel sent to help mankind,
to help me.

No, words can not describe you because you are beyond human.
No, I failed.
I haven't written the perfect poem for you.
I don't know what you are and you don't who am I.
I guess we will have to talk.

Transition...

When was it?
Do you remember?
The specific date? The specific moment?
I need to know.

When did my old, good, uniform life turn to this chaotic mess?
When did my Indian and Chinese brothers turned their backs on me?
When did money became an issue to me?
When did "ABC" became my D?
When?

Do you remember me when I was a spirit of a cub?
Do you remember last year how I got this wristband?
Do you remember how me and her were inseparable as friends?
Do you remember we have be hating each other because of love since last winter?
Do you?

Please, the specific date when all I could think about is sex?
Please, the specific moment of me wanting to deflower her in Bio class?
Please, the specific date when all my love is gone?
Please, the specific moment when I held a grudge against my parents?
Give me these information, it is dry -ice.

I need to know why I change.
I need to know why I am rejected.
I need to know why I can't be with you.
I need to know why am I here.

Life Is Not A Game....It Is An Unsaved Game

Life is like an unsaved game.
Everyday is a new start.
You always start the game in the beginning.

Sometime you die, feeling down.
Sometime you feel the rush, feeling excited.
Sometime you just play it plainly, feeling bored.

You keep doing the same actions every single time.
You already know what to expect out of it.
You already know what to do.
You will eventually get it perfect but you are never moving forward.
Therefore, why do it?

Ants....

Why are they here?

Small, annoying, irritating, they are.
Useless, worthless, invaluable, they are.

Why are they here?

They work and work for the colony.
Day and night.
Slavery to their own life.

Why are they here?

Their life is a living jail.
Routinely to live.
Boundaries not to cross.
Serving a lifetime because of being born.

Why are they here?

Hardworking to reach the sky.
Hardworking to satisfy the queen that
does not satisfy, fear of loosing her position.
Hardworking to make others rise above.
Hardworking to live.

They should be kill.
They are always in my food.
They should be a shame of themselve
for living.
They are uncountable.

Why are they here?

I guess...
To remind us that we are fortunate and
to live life fully.

Past, Present, Future

Why are you constantly coming back to me to haunt me?

This is like Jacob and Esau

Being a part of each other but why betrayal?

I deserve to be happy

Are you not meant to be my mistakes?

Your foolishness made me the proud us

Greed, selfish, lies, made you creep slowly to me?

You crawl on my skin, me standing still

Don’t you care?

I can taste her love already

Then you bring our romper el corazón*. Why?

Her eyes. O’ her eyes. Black and majestic.

But no! That eyes still burns and melt my heart, right?

Her voice. O’ her voice. The voice that puts angels to sleep.

But no! That honey-sweet giggle is a godsend, right?

A burning hell in your heart and mind is what it feels like.

Please, I am begging you.

Cooperation.

You had your’s, let me have mine.

Later, we have our’s.

*Heartbreak in Spanish